Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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