you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
