he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
