At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize