There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize