I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
