Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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