I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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