How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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