I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
