so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
