Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We talked him into tasing himself.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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