He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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