the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
