dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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