she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
