I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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