awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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