Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
