He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize