SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
