evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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