week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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