what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize