guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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