Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
