oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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