I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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