I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just high enough for therapy.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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