i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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