my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
