i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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