with your own penis?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
