i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize