Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
