She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
