so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
