He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i was born a porn star she said
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
