All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
