so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This is the high leading the old right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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