It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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