I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
