My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
