drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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