If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
