i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
