There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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