Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
