I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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