obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
do nipples grow back?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
