She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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