Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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