I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
