Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
