can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
