DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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