More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
