; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
