He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
