Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
