I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
