O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize