we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
