You just made me feel so damn special
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
