Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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