dude i'm inner monologue high
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My ATM looks so different sober.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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